Learning to be like water 💧
A quick dive into Bruce Lee and his philosophy on life from the viewpoint of a philosophical zygote like myself.
I often delve deep down into the rabbit hole that is Maria Popova’s The Marginalian, coming up for air only after I’ve made my way from Octavia Butler to Walt Whitman, to how to be a living poem (🤷🏻♀️) to knowing more about Beethoven than I ever knew I wanted to know but now I do. And after 17 hours in the hole, my most dominating thought about it all? What the.. how does Maria do it? Can she stop time? Does her head EVER hit the pillow? Is she an extraterrestrial? Does she live in her slippers?
I'm jaw-dropped by the amount of time it must take her to write even one post along with her ability to THEN… tie it all together with 20 other relatable stories that I NEED TO READ! I’m also equally horrified by my own inability to write more than 100 words before my eyelids start feeling like they're holding up an 800-pound orangutan. Before I know it, it's 6 am, and I'm left wondering if anyone remembered to feed the cats before bedtime, I don’t know.
Anyway! We’re not here to feel inadequate, we’re here to be more like water. And what is that even about? It’s about Bruce Lee and how I am now a devotee—meaning after reading Maria’s posts about him, I went to the library, took out a book about Lee’s philosophies on living and I’m ACTUALLY READING IT. Because you know, taking out library books and not reading them is a thing? Because they’re free? So you’re not on the hook? This is how I live. Reading = Devotee.
The book I took is called Be Like Water My Friend. Yes, yes, let’s all be like water—always finding a way around obstacles (and to ruin things??) No, not at all what he means—but maybe? How to create stubborn rust stains? Flood basements? Annoying drip? Things I thought of before I opened the book. I was way wrong.
This man—who only lived until the age of 32 (!), which is crazy because, philosophically speaking, at 32 I was still in diapers—was a practiced man of discipline and orderliness. He’d scribble—with perfect, and envious, cursive—notes in a small “day timer”—the outdated way of saying “notebook”—mantras, and affirmations that served as sort of a rule book for life, which I need my children to read, and in fact they all need to read this, let’s start a petition to push THIS type of education to be taught in classrooms instead of Math. (Sorry Math, your reign of terror needs to end. We’re in dire need to intellectually level up the conversations with our kids and teach them more about life—and water—instead of subjecting ourselves to the agony that is math homework where no one is calm, rational, or walks away thinking, yeah, that was an enlightening parent/kid moment. I can’t even imagine what will become of us once 8th-grade math rolls around—are we even remotely prepared for that storm???)
All of this is to say there are two bits of Lee’s wisdom I’d like to share, reflect upon, and challenge you (and me) to refer to throughout this fine day should we begin feeling lost, overwhelmed, or come face-to-face with long division.
Just for kicks, how about we jot down these two pearls of wisdom and consciously keep them cerebrally front and center for the remainder of the day? As a little test to see if we can all be like water, my friend!
1. You will never get any more out of life than you expect.
Expect: to regard as likely to happen; anticipate the occurrence of. (Life-fulfilling prophecy much? 🤷🏻♀️)
Once upon a now, I spent 45 minutes with a client working on a weight-loss plan to help her lose 20 lbs. As we finished up and sat back in our chairs as if we’d just negotiated Kim and Kanye’s divorce settlement, I asked her, “Ok, so… the big question here is, do you believe you can do this?”
She paused, cupped her chin in her palm, looked off into the distance—i.e. began pulling data from her past—and responded with a whomping, “I don’t knooooooow.” (I’m trying to stress the whine that was in there.)
Despite coming up with crafty ways to outsmart her old patterns of behavior, she thought about all the times she had failed and therefore she expected similar results (as a way to keep her “safe”?? Absolutely.)
Working on altering expectations is deep, exploratory work into our past. It requires letting go of learned behaviors while dealing with a mind that will fight you to the death to remain safe. Taking on change requires an intense practice of hearing the words we use, knowing the thoughts we cling to, the beliefs we hold close to our hearts about our abilities, and CHANGING ALL OF IT! Maybe not that drastic, but there needs to be a willingness to understand that something needs to give because all those things play a role in how our lives unfold before us. Seeing, believing, and working within those connections is the way out. And it’s riddled with landmines.
I had another client who wanted to lose 5 lbs starting December 1st tell me, “I’m not sure if I’ll be able to do it with the holidays and all, but I’ll try.”
OMFG. She expected failure and created an escape hatch with the words she used. Did you see that? If she instead said, “I’ll be able to do it” and left it at that, her total vibe would have been different. And things would have turned out differently too. Did she accomplish her goal? In a way you could say she did—it was hard for her and the holiday season proved too formidable a foe. Her uncertainty was correct, no 5lbs lost. Congrats… you were right?? (golf clap.)
Our words carry tremendous weight, yet we use them with such casual indifference. When we become fully aware of the power of our words, only then can we begin to change the conversation, which can change our expectations of what we’re capable of achieving. (Oh it’s all so intertwined, I feel like Papova making connections and luring you down a rabbit hole!)
Today, let’s focus on the words that come out of our mouths. Make them a shade more exciting, or a shade more inspiring when it comes to how you talk about, and to, yourself.
Don’t have a good day, when you can have a great day!
2. Things live by moving and gain strength as they go.
There was this one time, in the middle of July, when we went away and forgot to place the garbage outside. Yup, we kept it in the sweltering garage in the middle of summer, combining the perfect ingredients of heat, flies, and leftover food which makes… babies! Maggot babies, and lots of them! That trash bin was an underground salsa nightclub, whoooo-weeee were those little grubs having a time! My first thought upon opening the bin was, hmmm, when did we throw out all the rice?! And why is it EVERYWHERE?
Granted, Bruce Lee wasn’t talking about maggots and baby-making parties, I get that which is why I’m a philosophical zygote who’s still learning… but maybe there’s a small connection there?
Perhaps he was referencing how our thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and biases swirl within our minds and gain momentum because of our attention to them. Disregard them and their potency wanes. Vigilantly observe them, and they build strength, circulating within us, moving about, and ultimately wielding significant influence over our lives. (Like providing the right environment for an infestation?)
I’d like to pair this with another notebook-worthy jot of Lee’s that states:
I realize the DOMINATING THOUGHTS of my mind will eventually reproduce themselves in outward, physical action, and gradually transform themselves into physical reality.
Thoughts become things y’all.
And thoughts gather momentum and vigor when sustained by focused attention. Positive ones wield considerable power, just as negative ones do, yet the latter possess an additional, almost destructive force. If you dwell excessively on a thought, it solidifies into a belief, and unchecked, these beliefs gain strength and evolve into formidable behemoths.
Our thoughts and expectations are what we have control over. They are more powerful than we realize, and it’s up to us to use that power responsibly for ourselves so we can create a life we love… so we can love ourselves… so we can love. ❤️ Focus on that.
And be like water. 💧
