Creating art for fun? Finding sparks of joy? Playful parenting?
Radical things I'm trying since I've realized I'm playfully-challenged.
It sounded easy enough.
All I had to do was focus on the word “play” and, well yea, do more of that.
“Play” popped up a few weeks back as I focused on figuring out a “word of the year” to live alongside for the next 365 days, and this one seemed possible, fun, and how hard can it be “play” more?
My kids ask me to play all the time. In fact, just last night they wanted me to play basketball with them. What’s so hard about that? I mean, I didn’t but that’s not the point—unless??
I’m quickly learning that I have trouble “playing”.
To prove how defunct I am at play, I turned to the dictionary to make sure I understood the word as intended:
Play: When you play, especially as a child, you spend time doing an enjoyable and/or entertaining activity.
The hell? Especially as a child?? Is this why it’s so hard? Because it’s not meant for adults? I began to panic.
Are all adults playfully challenged? I mean, I used to play, I guess. I’m good at having fun. Are fun and play the same thing? I love a good party. GOD DO I LOVE A GOOD PARTY. I love laughing and making other people laugh, inviting people into my home, cooking for them, dancing in the kitchen, and singing my heart out all in the name of pure joy. But that’s like “look away from mommy” play!
My inability to execute play in my day-to-day has caused me to take great pause, slow down my incessant mental chatter, and figure out this entire matter. It was time for a list.
AND WHO DOESN’T LOVE A GOOD LIST!? If you too are playfully challenged, may I suggest a list of your own!
Playful things I can do this year:
Create art for the pure joy that comes from creating art. I used to love to be artistic. Art was my first A in college. But things get lost along the way and the next thing you know you’re adulting your way through life not giving play a second thought. Thankfully,
recently inspired me to pick up a brush. I’m now equipped with an arsenal of brushes, paints, and pristine white canvases ready to spread my play! Crystal suggests printing out a quote that means something to you—I chose, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life” from a Mary Oliver poem—and then take the quote, paste it onto the canvas and begin painting around it—anything you want. Easy, playful, perfect.
Keep on resisting the resistance. I wrote a few weeks back about how each time I come up against an event or a situation I’d normally flee from due to massive discomfort, I would instead take a deep breath and do the thing anyway. And it’s turning out to be my new favorite thing? It’s a challenge but incredibly freeing (and fun! Who knew?!). (Look at me ma, I’m learning how to play with discomfort!)
Parent more playfully. I can be such an annoooooooying parent! Instead of being playful, I’m all like, how was your day at school? Do you have any homework? Did you do your reading? No, you can’t play Fortnight during the week. Did you floss? Did you reeeeeeally floss or are you lying because you lie sometimes and I know it! (I check your bathroom trash.) Ugh. I’m laborious. I tell my kids I used to be cool. They don’t believe me. So I’ve begun easing up on the questions/interrogations and reminding myself that math sucks and not everyone is supposed to be good at it. School grades aren’t everything—teeth kinda are so I’m not ready to be so cheecky playful with that one—but maybe I’ll ease up on my investigative efforts and leave the chess board in a handy spot in case anyone wants to play… I’m trying!
Find little sparks of joy throughout the day (did you just gag?) I KNOW… it sounds so cheesy but if I’m going all in on this play thing, I must keep a sharp eye on the events of the day lest a little spark emerges from the slow burn of life. I’ve gotten quite into cooking and the accolades I receive from my family are picking up so I’m gonna ride that momentum because… validation. And it turns out I love the challenge of making something delicious with little to no ingredients—you know those moments when you have to go to the store but instead you play Russian Roulette with your pantry and chance it all on veggie stock, artichoke hearts and leftover eggplant cutlets… and you WIN!
Ah, nothing like a good little list to calm down the overreacting, negative nelly brain that’s all “IL CIELO STA CADENDO!” (That’s “the sky is falling” in Italian—and yes, my lessons are going well, I’m onto children’s bedtime stories.) Writing helps to make all the chaos in the brain calm, less draped in anxiety. It helps make play feel more doable, like I’m not abandoning my adulting side, I’m just taking a breather for the soul.
I’ll make sure to update y’all on my art creation—I even got my kids in on it so that’s pretty cool!
Anyone else have a word of the year that surprisingly hard (or easy) to incorporate into your life? Share in the comments!
“Are all adults playfully challenged?” - when I’m away from home, I feel like I can play a lot more. When I’m at home, I feel the pressure of things that need to be done. Is play, still play if you have to schedule it in? Is plan still play if it’s for 5mins, 15mins, 30mins.
When I think of play, I think of freedom, experimenting, being fluid.
What would life be like if more adults embraced play?
Yesssss! Way to jump into play and the full embodiment of joy! Having the added influence of your kids will heighten everything for you. Can’t wait to see what you come up with :)