Experts Warn That Your Thoughts May Be Small, Jerk-Like, and Ruining Your Life

Love Letter #1 ❤️

Turns out, you can’t ‘positive mindset’ your way out of self-sabotage if your thoughts are tiny little jerks.

And mine?

Jerkier than an older brother who holds you down so he can fart in your face.

The moment I started truly paying attention to my thoughts, everything began to change. Not in an instant, not with some grand epiphany, but slowly and steadily, like a fog lifting. And it wasn’t just about noticing my thoughts; it was about recognizing how they made me feel, how they shaped my reality, and how they had been keeping me stuck for years (gulp, decades even!).

For the longest time, no matter what I did, I felt like I was in the same place. While the scenery changed—different jobs, different people, different circumstances—mentally, emotionally, financially, I was a mouse on a wheel eating gorgonzola wondering when the chase would be over.

I had goals, dreams, and things I wanted to accomplish, but I never felt a real sense of urgency. I assumed riches would magically rain down upon me if I did the work, no matter how pea-sized or (gah) unworthy I felt about my abilities. After all, I was saying all the right things… but feeling the opposite.

I constantly felt like I didn’t have enough time for my writing, my bank account was always running on empty, and I kept surrounding myself with people who weren’t passionate about the same things I was. Deep down, I believed things would change on their own—but they never did.

And worst of all, these insecurities, self-doubt, and the same nagging belief that I wasn’t enough—all those crappy thoughts—followed me from… birth??? I don’t even know it’s been so long, they’re just my ride or dies now.

Then one day, it hit me—it’s not you, it’s not the big wide world, it’s not my mico-managing boss or my needy kids… it’s me. ME. Tugging on my shirt, digging in my heels, shouting from inside my head, keeping me exactly where I stand. M-E.

I had been carrying the same limiting beliefs for years. The same blah blah blah farty old stories of not being capable enough, not being worthy of success. I convinced myself that because I changed jobs all the time—full-on industries in fact as if THAT were my real job—doing it way more than any other successful boob I compared myself to who were getting vested, promoted, and handed pointy glass trophies showcased on the shelves of the smarter ones while I sat in yet another beige cubicle with my 20x30 poster of Derek Jeter.

Oh the loser thoughts I kept alive. I could sing you a whole drama-dripping novella about it. And these thoughts weren’t just passing through my mind; they were running the show.

They dictated my actions, my choices, my self-worth. And the scariest part? I believed them. Every time an opportunity came up, my mind would whisper, Are you sure you can handle that? And without realizing it, I would pull back, hesitate, self-sabotage. Just low-key tearing myself down.

And that’s the thing about thoughts. We don’t just think them—we feel them. To snag a line from Dr. Joe Dispenza—we can’t think better than we feel. If deep down, we believe we’re not good enough, no amount of surface-level motivation will change that. Our actions will always align with our core beliefs, and our beliefs are shaped by the thoughts we allow to take up space in our minds. Especially the little jerky ones.

When I finally saw this pattern for what it was, I knew something had to change. I had to stop fighting for my limitations. I had to challenge the thoughts that told me I wasn’t enough. I had to consciously choose new beliefs, ones that supported the life I actually wanted.

And let me tell you—it’s not easy. It takes work. It takes awareness, every single day, to notice those old thought patterns and replace them with something better but the harder it is, the more you’re going to gain!

God that sounds terrible but it’s true! Aging Fiercely wouldn’t be a thing if I didn’t realize how important our feelings are—how they guide us and create our life experiences without us knowing.

Let’s open our wide eyes and turn the light inward as often as possible and face head-on the evil brain that loves to send out its jerky little minions to ruin our day.

The moment you start paying attention, the moment you take control of your inner dialogue, you realize just how much power is inside you, dying to get out. And that’s the only way real change begins—and sticks!

Ever had a ‘holy crap, it’s ME’ moment like this? What limiting belief have you been unknowingly lugging around? Drop it in the comments—let’s air out these old farty thoughts together!

I hope you enjoyed this Love Letter ❤️. During March I’ll be sharing ways to gently uncover and shift your thoughts—especially the jerky ones!—to relieve the stagnancy they cause, and help you create more enjoyable endeavors in your life!