Resident woman loses 30lbs overnight and upon waking immediately files for divorce

A look into who you’d become if your dreams came true overnight!

I had a whopper of a thought the other day while I was driving—and also, like the positivity freak that I am, I can’t stop listening to Esther Hicks when I’m in the car and have you heard of her?? She’s some sort of portal into the unknown and has this freakishly good vibe she spreads, and while I can’t wrap my head around most of what she says, I’m totally on board with the one about how when we feel good about ourselves it opens us up to pure joy and self-love and do you know what that does to your headspace? Have you even tried liking yourself for a FULL DAY? It’s fkn awesome, at least for that one hour I could do it. 

Anyway, back to my thought—

What if I were to, right now, pull into the driveway of my dream home and it was legit mine??

(Note: If you’d rather listen than read, you can hippity-hop over here to my podcast and listen—but if you’re more the readerly type, let’s keep it rollin’)

At first I thought that it would be nothing short of miraculous. Me and the fam, 5-bedroom house, 6-burner stove, poolside cabanas, two-car garage AND A CARPORT? A perfectly packaged dream.

And then I thought…

Wait… does this dream house come with a secret safe deposit box filled with a trillion dollars, gold coins, and rare gems sourced from Myanmar, and maybe a fake passport or two you know in case, I don’t know, we have to leave in the middle of the night undetected?

Exactly what’s involved with this massive upgrade, and more importantly, am I ready for it?? 

Another way to think of it is like this: Let’s say you want to lose 30 lbs and one morning—presto magic!—you wake up and now those very special pair of jeans you’ve been waiting years to fit back into FIT PERFECTLY and now you find yourself looking at your husband who’s still asleep and think, hmmm, maybe I can do better??

And after being on every afternoon talk show—are those still a thing or is it all Mr. Beast, and Housewives now?? After you do the social media circuit let’s call it, then what? Now you have to keep off the weight but how? Literally nothing changed but the magical disappearance of 30 lbs, just like I magically moved into my dream home after I quickly ran to the grocery store… again, the 5th time this week.

My thoughts are still the same—which are more of the ho-hum variety than the go-out-there-and-get-’em-killer!!!! A few questions that popped up for me were, am I working 24 hours a day now to afford this? Did we come into an unexpected inheritance? Do I even have the time to sit poolside and sip Negronis?

Something tells me I’m doing a lot of things differently and how much time do I have to figure it out before it all goes away?

When we're going after a big goal, no matter what it is, the truth is it will require the dismantling of a few hard-to-break habits—we can’t simply walk into a new life and expect it to stick. Not without first doing “the work”. We have to change—our words, our thoughts, our demeanor, our behavior—it’s 100% an inside job. That’s right, it’s all on you, on me, on us collectively to start living with more fire, gusto, and boldaciousness FIRST! 

And let’s talk about this “time” thing and how we don’t have much of it. Fun Fact: Did you know that if we lived on Mars, we’d be about ½ our age because it takes the red planet 1.8 Earth years to orbit the sun? And to really fry your egg, a day on Venus is 116 days and 8 hours of Earth time 🤯. Just IMAGINE what you could do with a 116-day day!

Makes one wonder, with time being so wishy-washy, why is it that we constantly harp and wail over the lack of it? 

If time has trouble adhering to the rules of time, can we all agree then that it's time to let go of time as it relates to lack? 

We have plenty of time to achieve whatever it is that lights us up so consider that because what if we really do wake up one day and we’re in our dream house, or we’re 30lbs lighter, or we’re [insert super awesome achievement here!], don’t we want to know how we got there so we can make sure we’re able to stick around and enjoy it Gangnam Style? 

It’s true, there’s more where that came from! So do yourself a favor and sign up for this fun-tastic love letter… it’ll go a long way to solidify our ride-or-die friendship! (And it will help support my work!)

• What is your big dream and could you wake up with it being a living breathing reality tomorrow??

• How do you feel about time now? Should we all move to Venus and see how the whole “I have no time” conversation goes over there?

• Did you know I had a podcast (shameless plug)